"I'm failing Jess. It's been 3 months and I've only lost 15 lbs" -- We are so hard on ourselves! Even when we are losing weight after being stuck in a plateau, the pounds never come off fast enough. In fact, we can do all of the right things, but for most of us, it often doesn't feel like we are doing enough. We push ourselves until we fail and then tell ourselves that we've failed because we're not good enough. What if there is a better way? How does mindset matter and what can we do to speed up our results (ie, consistency)?
According to renowned Harvard Professor Shawn Achor, the secret lies in the Happiness Advantage. If we put happiness over the cognitive horizon, saying "I'll be happy when I reach x,y,z weight..." we are actually less likely to get there because when we do, we often just move the goal post further. For example, we lose 5 lbs and instead of celebrating, we say "I have so much more weight to lose, I'll actually be happy when I lose 10 lbs". If happiness is tied to an outcome and not cultivated as part of the process, then we may never get there.
"I'll love my body when I reach x,y,z weight..." -- What if we make dietary changes as a form of self love. Instead of treating eating less calories as punishment for all of the weight we've gained, we start to celebrate the foods that we choose to assimilate into our bodies. I know what you're thinking, does it really matter how I feel? Yes, it really does make a difference.
Celebrating small wins and setting goals that are within reach teaches us that we can make changes. No goal is too small. Truly. We need to prove to ourselves that we are capable of showing up and making new actions. The more evidence we have, the more often we succeed, the more confident we feel that we can actually create change.
So what does this look like in real life? The first step is setting action goals NOT outcome goals. An example of an outcome goal is the weight on the scale. How much we weigh is a lagging marker of our consistency over time. Action goals are daily repeatable tasks that add up over time leading to the outcome, like the weight on the scale. Put in context of the daily veggie goal we've talked about previously on the blog -- focusing on ways to make ourselves succeed with this action is so much more powerful than focusing on the actual weight loss. Why? Because weight loss feels slow no matter how fast it comes off.
What is "fast" weight loss? One to two pounds per week is considered fast for most people. While that is the amount often quoted, the rate of weight loss on a personal note is actually much more closely tied to how much weight we actually have to lose. For context, the prevailing understanding of weight change is that for every 10 kcal per day we remove from our diet consistently over time, our weight will trend down on average by 1 lb. So, for example, if we have 50 lbs to lose, we need to create a durable 500 kcal/day calorie deficit over (on average) 2-3 years if we're going the small changes route. It is normal to lose half of the weight during the first year (in our example, 25 lbs), and the other half over the next 1-2 years.
I know what you're thinking! But I want it now. I know, me too! Yes there are other options other than the slow and steady approach. That's where medical supervision is most important. But I want us to see the slow and steady approach as practicing habits for the person that we are about to become. We are building skills for our future self.
I once heard from someone that "we can't become a new person while dragging our old habits behind us". We cannot expect the actions that got us here today to also be the solution. We need to practice new actions and to celebrate our wins. Transformation takes time... and that's why you need a coach who specializes in therapeutic change and weight loss. When we meet together, I'm not going to sugar coat things (pun intended). What I am going to do is to help us find success in any way that I can so that we can move forward and stick with it long enough to reach the goal that we're looking for. Schedule your new patient appointment today and don't get stuck on the waiting list. Change is possible and it's never too late to start. I'm here for you.
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